I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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