it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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