3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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