If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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