dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
