i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm getting married
To pizza
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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