I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
