Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
