The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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