I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
