either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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