you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
