how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
