mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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