"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
