When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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