It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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