YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
