I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
