Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
