A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
