Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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