This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
