Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
