I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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