I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
