I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
