i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
one two three fourrrrnication!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
