Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
