I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
