My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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