I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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