I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
