So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize