She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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