Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
