So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
