STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize