quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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