I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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