...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
