brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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