I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
