my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
