i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
