I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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