I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
