im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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