Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize