i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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